1. Never start the day by drinking wine. The morning wine upsets the stomach, compromises our body coordination and we might also get double vision. An experienced harvester starts the day with half a cup of marc pálinka. It gets the blood flowing, and what’s more, the smell will keep the midges away.

2. If possible, try to avoid the sun in September and October: the sun is still strong and can cause dizziness and vertigo. If we can, ensconce ourselves in the cool wine cellar – the fatigue, tuckered out body can really gather itself there.

3. Never take down a cane or an umbrella with you to the cellar as this can make it difficult to fall safely if you trip over on the stairs. You can also break your wine glasses, which can be another source of displeasure.

4. Always hold the wine thief with one hand so you can support your harvest companion with the other.

5. Never chug wine! Sip slowly and savour it. The wine-chugger is not appealing to the eye. They overshadow the entire harvest, and they are also likely to step on their own hand.

6.Thou shall not covet your neighbour’s wine, you’ve got your own!

7. Once every hour or so, come up from the wine cellar to check on the women and children doing the harvest. As you contemplate around the vineyard, hold on to the vine stakes firmly for support, and try cyclically putting your feet one after the other.

8. Singing ‘I’m a drunk my darling…’ or ‘Ey, tilt the vine stake…’ have a positive effect on the lungs, heart, creates a sense of collectivism and scares the starlings away.

9. Marriage promises should be made with caution – this can leave you with unease the next day.

10. When fights occur during the harvest get-togethers, it is inappropriate to use knuckles or barrels. Offer the opponent mellow wine – that will put him down.

11. If consonants become predominant in your speech, you can also express yourself by gesticulating. Even more expressive if you do so while leaning against a wall.

12. Do not nap on the cellar stairs. Others can trip and fall over you, breaking your glasses and wine thief.

13. In the morning, do not be alarmed by the baggy-eyed, red-nosed man in the mirror. The poor fella has his own problems and sorrows.